Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Dancer

What's in a name?

"The dancer"? That's correct. I want this to be a blog about helping each other learn how to dance. I want us to learn how to listen to the spiritual music that plays in each person's life experience, and find ways to enter into that experience and relate to each other at a deeper level.

If you've had any experience at all with dancing I think you'd agree that there is a big difference between dancing apart from each other and what some people call, "slow dancing."

When we slow dance we dance much more carefully. We are much more sensitive trying not to step on the other person's toes. We measure our steps, we move together. We are up close and personal when we slow dance and that kind of dancing is usually done with people we know or at least want to know at a deeper level.

Relationships have actually begun with an invitation to dance. I want this blog to be a place where we can share ideas about how to dance with folks, especially folks from diverse cultures and/or religious backgrounds.

I'd like for us to experience this blog as a virtual meeting place--either a club or a large ballroom --where people come to dance, to meet and connect with people and just maybe, develop new friendships.

I believe that we are connected to God and to each other through, and by, relationship. I believe that knowing God and each other is a lot like a dance--a slow dance. The more we dance with someone, the more we get to know them. Over time, we'll get to know each other's story or life journey. We may even become friends.

I want to tell you a story. I call it, "Ashes In The Alps". After you've read the story I'd love for you to respond to it based on where you find yourself in the story.

This is how it actually happened that day in the Alps according to my recollection.

Ashes in the Alps:
A group of (let's call them) "boogie dancers" are on a hike in the Swiss Alps. While having a soda and enjoying the view one of them is invited into a conversation with four American guys who happen to be traveling together. With little more than introductions having been said, one of the four American guys says, "Two of us have lost our fathers in the past two months and we have come here to spread their ashes in the Alps in the towns of their ancestors."

Almost immediately one of the "boogie dancers" says, "Yes, death has a way of making us think about life and it's finality and what's going to happen after this life, doesn't it?

The same guy from the other group responded something like this, "Yeah, it makes me think I am going to live life to the fullest--you know, eat, drink and be merry, because you never know when your time is coming."

Another of the "boogie dancers" says, "Yeah but we're all going to die one day and then what?" (No response) A few more comments and pleasantries were exchanged then they returned to their table drinking beer and having a good time and the "boogie dancers" headed down the trail.

I was one of the "boogie dancers" (that's my tribe cause I like to boogie or at least I use to) but I didn't say anything. I'll admit as we headed down the trail I couldn't help but believe those American guys, if not all four at least the one who told us about the loss of his father and his friend's father and the ashes thing, may have been willing or even wanting to dance.

There are a lot of us "boogie dancers" still around but we don't want to be out on the dance floor boggying alone. We really do want to learn how to dance--really connect with folks. Would you help us get started? These questions might help us help each other begin on the right foot.
Shall we dance?

My question is, if you had wanted "to dance" with those four American guys, "What question(s) might you have asked or what might you have said?

If you find yourself in the story identifying more with the Four American guys, how might the "boogie dancers" have engaged you? Or to use our dance metaphor, how might they have danced with you?

2 comments:

Brittany said...

Ok, so here's my fear: what if I ask a question about the father or the man's life and concerns, he replies, and then the conversation dies because I can't think of anything else to say? It's weird because I can't think of any way to verbalize my faith, hope and trust in God that doesn't come across as cheesy to a non-believer. It's like explaining the color blue to a blind person. So instead, I try to let people know I care and I'm praying - which even I realize isn't enough.

Anonymous said...

brittany,
I like the "letting people know I care" approach. I'm asking myself would I want to dance with someone I didn't think cared to dance with me?
There's an old cliche, "people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."
I've even heard that term used in the context of dancing. "Care to dance?'
Interesting isn't it? Do you care to dance?
I like caring better than cheesy or contrived.
As for dancing, I think it is mostly about listening for the music so we'll know how to move with it.
We probably need to listen more than we talk. If we pay attention to the person rather than thinking of what we're going to say next, then we are more apt to connect with the music playing either within and/or between us.
I think letting people know you care is a great place to begin to dance. Then we can concern ourselves with getting in step with whatever music we hear them playing.
The Dancer